HOW MATCH.COM AND OKCUPID REALLY WORK
Grow Some Testicles: Why match.com sucks
I friggin HATE match.com! So I go on there, I don’t know why, because I’m obsessive, because I wonder when the last time Karaoke Boy logged in.
Match.com Sucks.Bad – tanktronic
Match.com sucks ass. They’re automatic renewal policy proves they don’t believe in their own service. THANK YOU for calling them out! Reply. Devon says:
why match.com sucks | thirty-somethings
Match.com sucks because they can’t figure out my accounts and now I have 4 different logins and can’t reply because I only have 1 paid subscription but they can …
Match Sucks – match.com – Dating Sites Reviews
Match Sucks – match.com. Review Details Overall Average • 2.9 / 5 (by 116 Users) for match.com Description Rating & Reviews by other singles for the online dating …
What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on …
Home > Blog > Online Dating > What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on Match.com? … If you’ve ever received an email like this, you know it sucks.
Why Match.com sucks….. | An american girl stuck in an Indian body
Why Match.com sucks….. 20Jan08. Ok…… so I was insane enough to sign up for match.com a few weeks ago, just to see. I mean, come on….
Why Online Dating Sucks (for Men) – YouTube
Why Online Dating Sucks (for Men) ExpeditionSailor20. Loading … Match.com reviews – an honest review! – Duration: 8:45. Jason Lee 110,355 views. 8:45.
Guys who have been on match.com or eharmony.com … – reddit
reddit: the front page of the internet. jump to … Match sucks and Okcupid sucks because for some reason it seems like 75% of the women are “just looking to make new …
Top 2,418 Complaints and Reviews about Match.com
Match is a legitimate dating site to be sure, but it engages in extremely dishonest and unethical practices in order to get people to shell out money. Helpful?
match.com | Plentyoffish Sucks!
Online dating is great for women and it sucks for guys. It seems to be a perfect fit for our consumerist society, where only the best-looking or most valuable …
Why Online Dating Sucks for Men | Alternet
Why Online Dating Sucks for Men. Many men are ignored on dating sites. By Emily Heist Moss / Role Reboot. March 7, 2013, 4:46 PM GMT Print. Comments. The …
Meet the men of Match.com: Really, guys, are you serious …
Meet the men of Match.com: Really, guys, are you serious? by Lisa Barnard. … If your profile sucks, no matter if you’re 20 30 or 90, …
Guys: Your Match.com Profile Sucks. Here’s Why.
Guys: Your Match.com Profile Sucks. Here’s Why. _____ Isn’t Natural and It Will Kill You; Recipe: Roast Beets with Garlic Kale;
Match.com – My experience as a guy (women, love, attracted …
Match.com – My experience as a guy (women, love, attracted) User Name: Remember Me: Password … Match.com sucks. I’ve been on that site before, …
Match.com Sucks! – YouTube
Match.com Sucks! Andrey Medina. Loading … match.com is a scam !!!!! fake profiles made by match.com and other date sites. – Duration: 3:40.
Match.com Reviews – 782 Reviews of Match.com | Sitejabber
Match.com does auto-charge people without notice AND then if you contest the charge, and lose, they will freeze your account for the duration of your membership.
How to Stop Sucking at Match.com – the Urban Dater
Match.com is a service that millions use, but few actually succeed at using. Lame! I talk about this first part in the series about keeping things simple
Match.com Sucks | Bobby Finstock
Match.com sucks, I have never met more people that lied, that were desperate, and that would do anything to get married.
Why Match.com Sucks It Hard | Sarahntastic
Why Match.com Sucks It Hard. October 8, 2009 sarahntastic Leave a comment Go to comments. I have a match.com profile but I do nothing with it.
Hey, Match Girls: Piss Off. You Had Your Chance. | Must Be …
Match sucks… and not in a good way. … Match blows: Hey, Match Girls! Piss Off, You Had Your Chance […] Like Like. Reply. acanoles says: January 22, 2014 at 8:38 PM.
What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on …
Home > Blog > Online Dating > What Percent of People Respond to Your Initial Emails on Match.com? … If you’ve ever received an email like this, you know it sucks.
Why Online Dating Sucks 80% Of The Time | International …
Why Online Dating Sucks 80% Of The … It attempts to match people who are not otherwise attracted to … So, online dating sucks 80 percent of the time. Most Read;
Why Online Dating Sucks · How to not SUCK
Why Online Dating Sucks. It’s a generally accepted fact that about 20-25% of all relationships now start online. Not all of them last longer than a month, but lots of …
Nice Try, Match.com, but Online Dating Still Sucks for Bisexuals
Nice Try, Match.com, but Online Dating Still Sucks for Bisexuals. I know a hell of a lot of people who maintain separate profiles based on the gender they’re hitting on.
Online Dating Sucks For Men Because Of Women Like Me
Online Dating Sucks For Men Because Of Women Like Me. By Emily Heist Moss. February 22, …
What I Learned From Lurking Online Dating Sites: Men Are …
What I Learned From Lurking Online Dating Sites: Men Are Bitter, … I made an account on Match.com, … If we have to “suck it up,” so should you.
Match.com – My experience as a guy (dating, Asian, married …
And I’d like to think the women on match.com aren’t that shallow anyways. … I know this is harder than it sounds, most guys suck at this big time, …
5 Scientific Reasons Online Dating Sucks – Men’s Health
5 Reasons Online Dating Is a Crapshoot Haven’t found ‘The One’ online? … And that could help make you happier with your match. Related Content: [[video:32701]]
Online dating sucks for men – Datehookup
11/13/2013 10:10:07 PM: Online dating sucks for men : pk0357 Eastlake, OH 41, joined Jan. 2010: I found this in another thread today. Thought it might do some good here.
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Why Online Dating Sucks for Men | Alternet
Why Online Dating Sucks for Men. Many men are ignored on dating sites. Return to article Sign Up! Get AlterNet’s Daily Newsletter in Your Inbox + select …
Reviews – Match advice
Check out reviews of match.com made by real members! Home; Dating guide. Dating Blog; Dating advice. Dating advice for men; Dating advice for women; First date advice;
Beware: eHarmony sucks… Free Dating, Singles and Personals
While I was on Match.com, I only received about 4 emails from guys PERIOD, and that was over a 3-4 month span. … Beware: eHarmony sucks… Posted: 12/1/2006 4:41:13 AM:
Until humans reach the age of 25, their brains are incapable of complete reasoning. The front of the brain has not fully formed yet. That is why insurance companies do everything they can to keep kids out of cars. That is why teens will suddenly have sex without thinking about the consequences. Part of this is the human species trying to get the species to make babies as fast as possible in order to continue humankind. Notice, in later years, the whole sex drive/must-have-a-baby thing goes away. Here is a great artucle about the science of this:
Moody. Impulsive. Maddening. Why do teenagers act the way they do? Viewed through the eyes of evolution, their most exasperating traits may be the key to success as adults.
By David Dobbs
Although you know your teenager takes some chances, it can be a shock to hear about them.
One fine May morning not long ago my oldest son, 17 at the time, phoned to tell me that he had just spent a couple hours at the state police barracks. Apparently he had been driving “a little fast.” What, I asked, was “a little fast”? Turns out this product of my genes and loving care, the boy-man I had swaddled, coddled, cooed at, and then pushed and pulled to the brink of manhood, had been flying down the highway at 113 miles an hour.
“That’s more than a little fast,” I said.
He agreed. In fact, he sounded somber and contrite. He did not object when I told him he’d have to pay the fines and probably for a lawyer. He did not argue when I pointed out that if anything happens at that speeda dog in the road, a blown tire, a sneezehe dies. He was in fact almost irritatingly reasonable. He even proffered that the cop did the right thing in stopping him, for, as he put it, “We can’t all go around doing 113.”
He did, however, object to one thing. He didn’t like it that one of the several citations he received was for reckless driving.
“Well,” I huffed, sensing an opportunity to finally yell at him, “what would you call it?”
“It’s just not accurate,” he said calmly. “?’Reckless’ sounds like you’re not paying attention. But I was. I made a deliberate point of doing this on an empty stretch of dry interstate, in broad daylight, with good sight lines and no traffic. I mean, I wasn’t just gunning the thing. I was driving.
“I guess that’s what I want you to know. If it makes you feel any better, I was really focused.”
Actually, it did make me feel better. That bothered me, for I didn’t understand why. Now I do.
My son’s high-speed adventure raised the question long asked by people who have pondered the class of humans we call teenagers: What on Earth was he doing? Parents often phrase this question more colorfully. Scientists put it more coolly. They ask, What can explain this behavior? But even that is just another way of wondering, What is wrong with these kids? Why do they act this way? The question passes judgment even as it inquires.
Through the ages, most answers have cited dark forces that uniquely affect the teen. Aristotle concluded more than 2,300 years ago that “the young are heated by Nature as drunken men by wine.” A shepherd in William Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale wishes “there were no age between ten and three-and-twenty, or that youth would sleep out the rest; for there is nothing in the between but getting wenches with child, wronging the ancientry, stealing, fighting.” His lament colors most modern scientific inquiries as well. G. Stanley Hall, who formalized adolescent studies with his 1904 Adolescence: Its Psychology and Its Relations to Physiology, Anthropology, Sociology, Sex, Crime, Religion and Education, believed this period of “storm and stress” replicated earlier, less civilized stages of human development. Freud saw adolescence as an expression of torturous psychosexual conflict; Erik Erikson, as the most tumultuous of life’s several identity crises. Adolescence: always a problem.
Such thinking carried into the late 20th century, when researchers developed brain-imaging technology that enabled them to see the teen brain in enough detail to track both its physical development and its patterns of activity. These imaging tools offered a new way to ask the same questionWhat’s wrong with these kids?and revealed an answer that surprised almost everyone. Our brains, it turned out, take much longer to develop than we had thought. This revelation suggested both a simplistic, unflattering explanation for teens’ maddening behaviorand a more complex, affirmative explanation as well.
The first full series of scans of the developing adolescent braina National Institutes of Health (NIH) project that studied over a hundred young people as they grew up during the 1990sshowed that our brains undergo a massive reorganization between our 12th and 25th years. The brain doesn’t actually grow very much during this period. It has already reached 90 percent of its full size by the time a person is six, and a thickening skull accounts for most head growth afterward. But as we move through adolescence, the brain undergoes extensive remodeling, resembling a network and wiring upgrade.
For starters, the brain’s axonsthe long nerve fibers that neurons use to send signals to other neuronsbecome gradually more insulated with a fatty substance called myelin (the brain’s white matter), eventually boosting the axons’ transmission speed up to a hundred times. Meanwhile, dendrites, the branchlike extensions that neurons use to receive signals from nearby axons, grow twiggier, and the most heavily used synapsesthe little chemical junctures across which axons and dendrites pass notesgrow richer and stronger. At the same time, synapses that see little use begin to wither. This synaptic pruning, as it is called, causes the brain’s cortexthe outer layer of gray matter where we do much of our conscious and complicated thinkingto become thinner but more efficient. Taken together, these changes make the entire brain a much faster and more sophisticated organ.
This process of maturation, once thought to be largely finished by elementary school, continues throughout adolescence. Imaging work done since the 1990s shows that these physical changes move in a slow wave from the brain’s rear to its front, from areas close to the brain stem that look after older and more behaviorally basic functions, such as vision, movement, and fundamental processing, to the evolutionarily newer and more complicated thinking areas up front. The corpus callosum, which connects the brain’s left and right hemispheres and carries traffic essential to many advanced brain functions, steadily thickens. Stronger links also develop between the hippocampus, a sort of memory directory, and frontal areas that set goals and weigh different agendas; as a result, we get better at integrating memory and experience into our decisions. At the same time, the frontal areas develop greater speed and richer connections, allowing us to generate and weigh far more variables and agendas than before.
When this development proceeds normally, we get better at balancing impulse, desire, goals, self-interest, rules, ethics, and even altruism, generating behavior that is more complex and, sometimes at least, more sensible. But at times, and especially at first, the brain does this work clumsily. It’s hard to get all those new cogs to mesh.
Beatriz Luna, a University of Pittsburgh professor of psychiatry who uses neuroimaging to study the teen brain, used a simple test that illustrates this learning curve. Luna scanned the brains of children, teens, and twentysomethings while they performed an antisaccade task, a sort of eyes-only video game where you have to stop yourself from looking at a suddenly appearing light. You view a screen on which the red crosshairs at the center occasionally disappear just as a light flickers elsewhere on the screen. Your instructions are to not look at the light and instead to look in the opposite direction. A sensor detects any eye movement. It’s a tough assignment, since flickering lights naturally draw our attention. To succeed, you must override both a normal impulse to attend to new information and curiosity about something forbidden. Brain geeks call this response inhibition.
Ten-year-olds stink at it, failing about 45 percent of the time. Teens do much better. In fact, by age 15 they can score as well as adults if they’re motivated, resisting temptation about 70 to 80 percent of the time. What Luna found most interesting, however, was not those scores. It was the brain scans she took while people took the test. Compared with adults, teens tended to make less use of brain regions that monitor performance, spot errors, plan, and stay focusedareas the adults seemed to bring online automatically. This let the adults use a variety of brain resources and better resist temptation, while the teens used those areas less often and more readily gave in to the impulse to look at the flickering lightjust as they’re more likely to look away from the road to read a text message.
If offered an extra reward, however, teens showed they could push those executive regions to work harder, improving their scores. And by age 20, their brains respond to this task much as the adults’ do. Luna suspects the improvement comes as richer networks and faster connections make the executive region more effective.
These studies help explain why teens behave with such vexing inconsistency: beguiling at breakfast, disgusting at dinner; masterful on Monday, sleepwalking on Saturday. Along with lacking experience generally, they’re still learning to use their brain’s new networks. Stress, fatigue, or challenges can cause a misfire. Abigail Baird, a Vassar psychologist who studies teens, calls this neural gawkinessan equivalent to the physical awkwardness teens sometimes display while mastering their growing bodies.
The slow and uneven developmental arc revealed by these imaging studies offers an alluringly pithy explanation for why teens may do stupid things like drive at 113 miles an hour, aggrieve their ancientry, and get people (or get gotten) with child: They act that way because their brains aren’t done! You can see it right there in the scans!
This view, as titles from the explosion of scientific papers and popular articles about the “teen brain” put it, presents adolescents as “works in progress” whose “immature brains” lead some to question whether they are in a state “akin to mental retardation.”
The story you’re reading right now, however, tells a different scientific tale about the teen brain. Over the past five years or so, even as the work-in-progress story spread into our culture, the discipline of adolescent brain studies learned to do some more-complex thinking of its own. A few researchers began to view recent brain and genetic findings in a brighter, more flattering light, one distinctly colored by evolutionary theory. The resulting account of the adolescent braincall it the adaptive-adolescent storycasts the teen less as a rough draft than as an exquisitely sensitive, highly adaptable creature wired almost perfectly for the job of moving from the safety of home into the complicated world outside.
This view will likely sit better with teens. More important, it sits better with biology’s most fundamental principle, that of natural selection. Selection is hell on dysfunctional traits. If adolescence is essentially a collection of themangst, idiocy, and haste; impulsiveness, selfishness, and reckless bumblingthen how did those traits survive selection? They couldn’tnot if they were the period’s most fundamental or consequential features.
The answer is that those troublesome traits don’t really characterize adolescence; they’re just what we notice most because they annoy us or put our children in danger. As B. J. Casey, a neuroscientist at Weill Cornell Medical College who has spent nearly a decade applying brain and genetic studies to our understanding of adolescence, puts it, “We’re so used to seeing adolescence as a problem. But the more we learn about what really makes this period unique, the more adolescence starts to seem like a highly functional, even adaptive period. It’s exactly what you’d need to do the things you have to do then.”
To see past the distracting, dopey teenager and glimpse the adaptive adolescent within, we should look not at specific, sometimes startling, behaviors, such as skateboarding down stairways or dating fast company, but at the broader traits that underlie those acts.
Let’s start with the teen’s love of the thrill. We all like new and exciting things, but we never value them more highly than we do during adolescence. Here we hit a high in what behavioral scientists call sensation seeking: the hunt for the neural buzz, the jolt of the unusual or unexpected.
Seeking sensation isn’t necessarily impulsive. You might plan a sensation-seeking experiencea skydive or a fast drivequite deliberately, as my son did. Impulsivity generally drops throughout life, starting at about age 10, but this love of the thrill peaks at around age 15. And although sensation seeking can lead to dangerous behaviors, it can also generate positive ones: The urge to meet more people, for instance, can create a wider circle of friends, which generally makes us healthier, happier, safer, and more successful.
This upside probably explains why an openness to the new, though it can sometimes kill the cat, remains a highlight of adolescent development. A love of novelty leads directly to useful experience. More broadly, the hunt for sensation provides the inspiration needed to “get you out of the house” and into new terrain, as Jay Giedd, a pioneering researcher in teen brain development at NIH, puts it.
Also peaking during adolescence (and perhaps aggrieving the ancientry the most) is risk-taking. We court risk more avidly as teens than at any other time. This shows reliably in the lab, where teens take more chances in controlled experiments involving everything from card games to simulated driving. And it shows in real life, where the period from roughly 15 to 25 brings peaks in all sorts of risky ventures and ugly outcomes. This age group dies of accidents of almost every sort (other than work accidents) at high rates. Most long-term drug or alcohol abuse starts during adolescence, and even people who later drink responsibly often drink too much as teens. Especially in cultures where teenage driving is common, this takes a gory toll: In the U.S., one in three teen deaths is from car crashes, many involving alcohol.
Are these kids just being stupid? That’s the conventional explanation: They’re not thinking, or by the work-in-progress model, their puny developing brains fail them.
Yet these explanations don’t hold up. As Laurence Steinberg, a developmental psychologist specializing in adolescence at Temple University, points out, even 14- to 17-year-oldsthe biggest risk takersuse the same basic cognitive strategies that adults do, and they usually reason their way through problems just as well as adults. Contrary to popular belief, they also fully recognize they’re mortal. And, like adults, says Steinberg, “teens actually overestimate risk.”
So if teens think as well as adults do and recognize risk just as well, why do they take more chances? Here, as elsewhere, the problem lies less in what teens lack compared with adults than in what they have more of. Teens take more risks not because they don’t understand the dangers but because they weigh risk versus reward differently: In situations where risk can get them something they want, they value the reward more heavily than adults do.
A video game Steinberg uses draws this out nicely. In the game, you try to drive across town in as little time as possible. Along the way you encounter several traffic lights. As in real life, the traffic lights sometimes turn from green to yellow as you approach them, forcing a quick go-or-stop decision. You save timeand score more pointsif you drive through before the light turns red. But if you try to drive through the red and don’t beat it, you lose even more time than you would have if you had stopped for it. Thus the game rewards you for taking a certain amount of risk but punishes you for taking too much.
When teens drive the course alone, in what Steinberg calls the emotionally “cool” situation of an empty room, they take risks at about the same rates that adults do. Add stakes that the teen cares about, however, and the situation changes. In this case Steinberg added friends: When he brought a teen’s friends into the room to watch, the teen would take twice as many risks, trying to gun it through lights he’d stopped for before. The adults, meanwhile, drove no differently with a friend watching.
To Steinberg, this shows clearly that risk-taking rises not from puny thinking but from a higher regard for reward.
“They didn’t take more chances because they suddenly downgraded the risk,” says Steinberg. “They did so because they gave more weight to the payoff.”
Researchers such as Steinberg and Casey believe this risk-friendly weighing of cost versus reward has been selected for because, over the course of human evolution, the willingness to take risks during this period of life has granted an adaptive edge. Succeeding often requires moving out of the home and into less secure situations. “The more you seek novelty and take risks,” says Baird, “the better you do.” This responsiveness to reward thus works like the desire for new sensation: It gets you out of the house and into new turf.
As Steinberg’s driving game suggests, teens respond strongly to social rewards. Physiology and evolutionary theory alike offer explanations for this tendency. Physiologically, adolescence brings a peak in the brain’s sensitivity to dopamine, a neurotransmitter that appears to prime and fire reward circuits and aids in learning patterns and making decisions. This helps explain the teen’s quickness of learning and extraordinary receptivity to rewardand his keen, sometimes melodramatic reaction to success as well as defeat.
The teen brain is similarly attuned to oxytocin, another neural hormone, which (among other things) makes social connections in particular more rewarding. The neural networks and dynamics associated with general reward and social interactions overlap heavily. Engage one, and you often engage the other. Engage them during adolescence, and you light a fire.
This helps explain another trait that marks adolescence: Teens prefer the company of those their own age more than ever before or after. At one level, this passion for same-age peers merely expresses in the social realm the teen’s general attraction to novelty: Teens offer teens far more novelty than familiar old family does.
Yet teens gravitate toward peers for another, more powerful reason: to invest in the future rather than the past. We enter a world made by our parents. But we will live most of our lives, and prosper (or not) in a world run and remade by our peers. Knowing, understanding, and building relationships with them bears critically on success. Socially savvy rats or monkeys, for instance, generally get the best nesting areas or territories, the most food and water, more allies, and more sex with better and fitter mates. And no species is more intricately and deeply social than humans are.
This supremely human characteristic makes peer relations not a sideshow but the main show. Some brain-scan studies, in fact, suggest that our brains react to peer exclusion much as they respond to threats to physical health or food supply. At a neural level, in other words, we perceive social rejection as a threat to existence. Knowing this might make it easier to abide the hysteria of a 13-year-old deceived by a friend or the gloom of a 15-year-old not invited to a party. These people! we lament. They react to social ups and downs as if their fates depended upon them! They’re right. They do.
Excitement, novelty, risk, the company of peers. These traits may seem to add up to nothing more than doing foolish new stuff with friends. Look deeper, however, and you see that these traits that define adolescence make us more adaptive, both as individuals and as a species. That’s doubtless why these traits, broadly defined, seem to show themselves in virtually all human cultures, modern or tribal. They may concentrate and express themselves more starkly in modern Western cultures, in which teens spend so much time with each other. But anthropologists have found that virtually all the world’s cultures recognize adolescence as a distinct period in which adolescents prefer novelty, excitement, and peers. This near-universal recognition sinks the notion that it’s a cultural construct.
Culture clearly shapes adolescence. It influences its expression and possibly its length. It can magnify its manifestations. Yet culture does not create adolescence. The period’s uniqueness rises from genes and developmental processes that have been selected for over thousands of generations because they play an amplified role during this key transitional period: producing a creature optimally primed to leave a safe home and move into unfamiliar territory.
The move outward from home is the most difficult thing that humans do, as well as the most criticalnot just for individuals but for a species that has shown an unmatched ability to master challenging new environments. In scientific terms, teenagers can be a pain in the ass. But they are quite possibly the most fully, crucially adaptive human beings around. Without them, humanity might not have so readily spread across the globe.
This adaptive-adolescence view, however accurate, can be tricky to come to terms withthe more so for parents dealing with teens in their most trying, contrary, or flat-out scary moments. It’s reassuring to recast worrisome aspects as signs of an organism learning how to negotiate its surroundings. But natural selection swings a sharp edge, and the teen’s sloppier moments can bring unbearable consequences. We may not run the risk of being killed in ritualistic battles or being eaten by leopards, but drugs, drinking, driving, and crime take a mighty toll. My son lives, and thrives, sans car, at college. Some of his high school friends, however, died during their driving experiments. Our children wield their adaptive plasticity amid small but horrific risks.
We parents, of course, often stumble too, as we try to walk the blurry line between helping and hindering our kids as they adapt to adulthood. The United States spends about a billion dollars a year on programs to counsel adolescents on violence, gangs, suicide, sex, substance abuse, and other potential pitfalls. Few of them work.
Yet we can and do help. We can ward off some of the world’s worst hazards and nudge adolescents toward appropriate responses to the rest. Studies show that when parents engage and guide their teens with a light but steady hand, staying connected but allowing independence, their kids generally do much better in life. Adolescents want to learn primarily, but not entirely, from their friends. At some level and at some times (and it’s the parent’s job to spot when), the teen recognizes that the parent can offer certain kernels of wisdomknowledge valued not because it comes from parental authority but because it comes from the parent’s own struggles to learn how the world turns. The teen rightly perceives that she must understand not just her parents’ world but also the one she is entering. Yet if allowed to, she can appreciate that her parents once faced the same problems and may remember a few things worth knowing.
Meanwhile, in times of doubt, take inspiration in one last distinction of the teen braina final key to both its clumsiness and its remarkable adaptability. This is the prolonged plasticity of those late-developing frontal areas as they slowly mature. As noted earlier, these areas are the last to lay down the fatty myelin insulationthe brain’s white matterthat speeds transmission. And at first glance this seems like bad news: If we need these areas for the complex task of entering the world, why aren’t they running at full speed when the challenges are most daunting?
The answer is that speed comes at the price of flexibility. While a myelin coating greatly accelerates an axon’s bandwidth, it also inhibits the growth of new branches from the axon. According to Douglas Fields, an NIH neuroscientist who has spent years studying myelin, “This makes the period when a brain area lays down myelin a sort of crucial period of learningthe wiring is getting upgraded, but once that’s done, it’s harder to change.”
The window in which experience can best rewire those connections is highly specific to each brain area. Thus the brain’s language centers acquire their insulation most heavily in the first 13 years, when a child is learning language. The completed insulation consolidates those gainsbut makes further gains, such as second languages, far harder to come by.
So it is with the forebrain’s myelination during the late teens and early 20s. This delayed completiona withholding of readinessheightens flexibility just as we confront and enter the world that we will face as adults.
This long, slow, back-to-front developmental wave, completed only in the mid-20s, appears to be a uniquely human adaptation. It may be one of our most consequential. It can seem a bit crazy that we humans don’t wise up a bit earlier in life. But if we smartened up sooner, we’d end up dumber.